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Now browsing: Hometown News > Columnist Archives > Counseling - Feng Shui

Four steps to attracting a mate
Rating: 3.13 / 5 (63 votes)  
Posted: 2008 Mar 28 - 02:55

Have you decided that 2008 is "the year" for finding the perfect mate? Or have you decided there isn't such a thing as a perfect mate and you will settle for second best?

Perhaps you are just beginning a search for a mate. Where are you looking and what are you looking for? Do you know? Perhaps you have the perfect mate and would like to keep it that way.

What are you doing energetically at home to attract a mate or to keep a mate? What do your surroundings tell you about what or whom you are trying to attract? Or, is there negative energy in your surroundings and negative thoughts keeping your ideal mate away?

Are there some clues in those surroundings that are very revealing? Do you need to change your surroundings and your thinking before checking out the latest online dating service or going on another blind date setup by well-meaning friends and family members or, are you hoping to go on a date again with your mate of many years?

Evaluate your "attraction energy" at home and take action

First, take a close look around your home to see what messages are symbolically being sent to a potential or existing mate.

Do you have time in your world for a mate ? Have you made room for a potential mate in your life? Or, is your calendar so full of commitments with your friends, work, organizations and chosen activities that there is no room for this illusive mate you are seeking or have? Or, are your closets so full of your stuff there is no room left for anyone else let alone a long -term equal mate?

Solution: unclutter your home and your calendar to make enough room and time for a mate to feel welcome, wanted and an important part of your life.

Second, take a close look at your personal décor.

What messages are you sending to others? Are the pictures on the walls in your bedroom all of eighteenth 18th century women in period clothing, solitary beach scenes or void of anything sensuous or couple-ness? Perhaps your wall décor is of sports teams, martial arts competitions or your favorite classic cars, but in no way symbolic of the relationship you seek.

Solution: find some artwork for your bedroom walls and the southwest relationships area of your living/family room that depict sensuous or romantic symbolism and energy. You might look for fruit, such as two luscious pears sensually leaning toward each other, two hearts intertwined or two beautiful flowers snuggled side by side. You can also use two of your favorite flowers of equal size in a bud vase, either intertwined or leaning toward each other to create the same couple-ness energy.

Third, what do the colors on your walls and style of your furniture say about you and your desire to find a permanent mate? Is it stark black and white with lots of hard, unwelcoming edges? Or maybe your furniture and décor might be too homey, comfortable and a little cluttered with lots of pillows and decorated with lots of soft, earthy colors. That kind of hominess might scare away someone who wants a relationship, but doesn't want to feel trapped the moment he/she walks in the front door.

Solution: uUse the basic feng shui principle of balance in your décor.

If you like hard lines and a black and white décor, soften it with some lush, soft velvet pillows and a pink cashmere throw. If your home is too soft, too feminine, eliminate some of those dozens of pillows on the sofa and chairs so there appears to be empty space for someone to sit, stay and linger awhile, without feeling like they are being suffocated and trapped.

Fourth, isf your 65 percent flat panel plasma HD wide screen, the necessary electronic equipment with speakers and a sofa are the only things in your living room? A potential mate, unless they want to watch television or play electronic games 24/7 may not feel welcome or wanted.

On the other hand, if your home looks so perfect or over furnished that one feels he or she cannot sit down comfortably and stay a while, that is also a problem. They will not want to stay.

Solution: use the feng shui principle of balance again.

If your furnishings are high tech and somewhat unwelcoming to a non-techie, add some upholstered furniture, pillows and softly draped window treatments.

If your home looks crowded or too perfect, remove the window treatments and let the light in. Put away some of the "stuff" creating the overcrowding and use some soft torchiere lighting to encourage comfort and roominess.

Once you have surrounded yourself with the right energy for attracting and keeping a mate, then you can decide just where to look to find that perfect person to share your life, or to make and keep your present relationship long term and lasting.

Once the supportive surrounding energy is in alignment with your goal of attracting the right mate, it becomes a much easier, more enjoyable and successful adventure.

Pat Heydlauff is a feng shui consultant, public speaker, columnist and artist. For feng shui consultations and energy design work in the home or office call her at (561) 799-3443 or e-mail her, balancingenergy@bellsouth.net or visit her Web site, www.energy-by-design.com.

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