Your fake phone number is my real number

To the woman using my cell phone number for her fake phone number:

I don't know you, but I keep getting your phone calls. All of them from young, excited men who are very surprised to hear this is not your number. I understand what you're doing. I was younger once, liked to go to bars and clubs and didn't always want to give my actual digits to some over-amorous guy with whom I felt no connection.

Maybe you made up the number. Maybe, in an act of revenge, you're using an old boyfriend's number (which, if true, let me say you're better off without that loser based on the number of collection agencies calling for him over the 11 months I've had this phone).

Regardless, I have one request. Could you please do what my bar-hopping friends and I did back in the day and hand out a number that rings at a business - preferably one with an automated answering service so the guys (1) won't pester a live person and (2) will know right off the bat they've got a false number? Although I can tell you from experience most of your would-be suitors call at least twice before they get the picture.

It's not that I don't get a laugh from some of the text messages I've received; you must be very nicely proportioned, as well as not offended by obscenities to get compliments like that. But the 1 a.m. booty calls sometimes wake me and my family and I'm hoping that will stop.

So if you could change your fake phone number to something else, like the local DMV or power company or maybe even a Hooters, if you want to give the guys a little hope, that would be much appreciated. Thanks.

Conservative vs. liberal

If a conservative doesn't like guns, they don't buy one.

If a liberal doesn't like guns, then no one should have one.

If a conservative is a vegetarian, they don't eat meat.

If a liberal is, they want to ban all meat products for everyone.

If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how to defeat his enemy.

A liberal wonders how to surrender gracefully and still look good.

If a conservative is homosexual, they quietly enjoy their life.

If a liberal is homosexual, they loudly demand legislated respect.

If a black man or Hispanic is conservative, they see themselves as independently successful.

Their liberal counterparts see themselves as victims in need of government protection.

If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.

A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.

If a conservative doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels.

If a liberal doesn't like a talk show host, he attacks and attempts to discredit him while demanding that he be shut down.

If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church.

If a liberal is a non-believer, he wants any mention of God or religion silenced.

If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.

If a liberal decides that he need health care, he demands that his neighbors pay for his.

Response to Carter's comments of racism

This response is for Barbara who wrote in from Suntree about the changes in politics.

Let me tell you, I have been a Democrat for 30 years and our party has been hijacked by people like Obama who call themselves progressive. They are not true Democrats.

When they were at a rally, I asked them, "What is a progressive? What do you believe in?" The lady told me she believed in free health care for everyone. That is a little bit of a dichotomy. There is nothing for free. I asked her, "Where is the money going to come from if its free?"

Somebody's going to pay; Since I have been paying for 35 years, anyway.

So, ma'am, both parties have been high jacked. Yours didn't do any better in the 8 other years when George Bush was in and got us into the trillion dollar debt.

We all need to wake up and smell the flowers and kick out those people out of the democr atic party; the progressives who think they are the party and they are not.

The party in Brevard County is that way. They won't answer you if you call them.

We've been hijacked. We need to overthrow them. Take back our party. Take back our country.